"Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church..."

Dr. Robertson McQuilkin was the president of Columbia Bible College (now Columbia International University) from 1968 – 1990. His wife having been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease a few years prior to the end of his tenure, Dr. McQuilkin reached a point where it became clear that he could no longer serve as president and also care for his wife personally.

In a 2004 article titled, “Living by Vows,” (published in Christianity Today), Dr. McQuilkin recounted how a number of close friends and colleagues, whom he respected deeply, encouraged him to consider institutionalizing his wife for the sake of his career :

So began years of struggle with the question of what should be sacrificed: ministry or caring for Muriel. Should I put the kingdom of God first, "hate" my wife and, for the sake of Christ and the kingdom, arrange for institutionalization? Trusted, lifelong friends—wise and godly—urged me to do this.

"Muriel would become accustomed to the new environment quickly." Would she? Would anyone love her at all, let alone love her as I do? I had often seen the empty, listless faces of those lined up in wheelchairs along the corridors of such places, waiting, waiting for the fleeting visit of some loved one. In such an environment, Muriel would be tamed only with drugs or bodily restraints, of that I was confident.

[…]

When the time came, the decision was firm. It took no great calculation. It was a matter of integrity. Had I not promised, 42 years before, "in sickness and in health . . . till death do us part"?

This was no grim duty to which I stoically resigned, however. It was only fair. She had, after all, cared for me for almost four decades with marvelous devotion; now it was my turn. And such a partner she was! If I took care of her for 40 years, I would never be out of her debt.

[…]

I have been startled by the response to the announcement of my resignation. Husbands and wives renew marriage vows, pastors tell the story to their congregations. It was a mystery to me, until a distinguished oncologist, who lives constantly with dying people, told me, "Almost all women stand by their men; very few men stand by their women." Perhaps people sensed this contemporary tragedy and somehow were helped by a simple choice I considered the only option. (emphasis added)

And so, in 1990, Dr. McQuilkin -- renowned author, speaker, and former missionary -- announced his resignation to the faculty and students of Columbia Bible College. He spent the next 13 years honoring and fulfilling his vows to his wife. A short segment of that speech survives in audio form.

Last fall, Focus on the Family aired an episode titled Love in the Midst of Alzheimer’s featuring a recorded talk of Dr. McQuilkin telling his story.